As the realization sets in with the extension of Lockdown a frenzy of questions started popping up across the internet. We as a society are still very uncertain of what’s to come. We do know how long it may last thus making us even more confused and anxious. Spending time together in quarantine could be a great opportunity to strengthen your relationship, whether that’s spending more or less time together. Not only does the extension impact our economic factors as a country, but it also takes its toll on our citizens stuck at home and the relationships involved.
Research indicates that people with higher quality friendships and romantic relationships are at a lower risk of illness and disease whereas individuals who experience conflict and violent behaviour are more prone to illness and disease. With Lockdown forcing us to stay cooped up all day with the ones we love, spending more time or less time together might benefit some, and others not so much. So the still question remains. What can couples do to keep a healthy and happy relationship during the lockdown?
If that’s what’s on your mind, then you are at the right place. We will be discussing various factors that play a role in relationships and how you can overcome the stresses caused by the lockdown. Might we add that we have previously discussed topics such as avoiding cabin fever during the lockdown and how to cope mentally during lockdown which you can read to gain more insight on the effect of lockdown and the impact it has on our mental health
During China’s lockdown, they have experienced a 25% increase in the number of divorces and even more in other cities. Not only does COVID-19 impact our everyday lives, but it is also starting to impact our relationships with the people we love most. As the government is fighting the pandemic, so are couples looking at different ways of conflict resolution and other ways to avoid stepping on each other’s toes whilst being cooped up together at home. It is important to note that all relationship will experience some form of conflict, no one is immune to relationship conflict, however, the way you deal with this will make or break your relationship. While the conflict in relationships is normal, it can also highlight the areas of the relationship that needs to be worked on. You can use the tips below to resolve arguments healthily.
In any healthy relationship, each member will be required to compromise at some point within the relationship and it’s a major part of conflict resolution, it's easier said than done though. The reality is, you cannot agree on everything and nor should you, however to keep the peace at home compromise is required from both parties involved.
You and your partner both deserve each other’s respect, even in the heat of an argument. If your partner verbally abuses you, tell them to stop immediately. If they don’t then we suggest walking away, taking time to think rationally about it, which ensures that each individual gets enough alone time to think about the situation at hand. Re-group when both of you have calmed down, and have an adult conversation about it.
Agree to disagree
If you and your partner can’t resolve an issue, sometimes it’s best to just drop it. You can’t agree on everything after all. Focus on what matters most. If the issue is too important for you to drop and you can’t agree to disagree, then maybe you’re not that compatible or honest about the situation.
Find the real issue
Arguments during lockdown can occur for a couple of reasons and usually, one’s partner’s needs or wants aren’t being met by the other. By communicating your feelings to your partner he or she can understand where the frustration is coming from. Sit down with your partner to see where you can improve on certain aspects to avoid constant fighting.
Consider a different perspective
Consider looking at it from your partner’s argument perspective. Self-reflection is key to understand why you or your partner is upset. Start by asking yourself a couple of questions such as: What does the problem look like from their point of view? Does your partner usually get this upset about issues such as the one at hand? Who is the one in the relationship that normally would be compromising? Are you being inconsiderate towards your partner or vice versa? These are all questions to ask yourself and be honest when answering them.
Resolving conflict in a healthy way involves being honest with your partner and with yourself. Before you react, stop and think about the situation. The old adage ‘count to ten’ has never been more relevant than now. Remember that lockdown will pass and eventually we will continue with our normal lives. The other reality of lockdown and relationships is that some people are stuck with an abusive partner which causes them to live in constant fear.
If you have been a victim of domestic abuse before the lockdown you are likely very worried about when the next incident might take place. Gender-based Violence has been a thorn in our flesh even before the national Lockdown, and a staggering number of more than 120,000 victims has phoned the national helpline for abused woman and children in the first three weeks of the national lockdown, more than twice the normal amount of phone calls received.
ZwavelStream Clinic would like to urge you if you are a victim of domestic abuse to take action and phone the helpline below: Keeping quiet will only be adding fuel to the fire. Speak out for the sake of yourself or the people that cannot speak out for themselves, which will shed light on the situation and police can intervene to ensure the abuse is stopped immediately.As we all know by now, domestic abuse comes in many shapes and sizes. The types of abuse come in the form of violence, including emotional, sexual, social, financial, spiritual and physical abuse. The sad reality is that in some cases the abuse has been going on for so long that it has become the new normal for some. Some aren’t even aware that they are being abused emotionally and if emotional abuse often goes unrecognized, but it can be very harmful. Someone who is emotionally abusive towards you wants to chip away at your feelings of self-worth and independence to keep their control over you or the situation at hand. Below are some other forms of abuse and a brief explanation of each form of abuse.
Social abuseSocial abuse occurs when you are insulted or humiliated in any social setting. Social abusers would also make attempts of keeping the victim away from loved ones in order to mask what is really going on behind closed doors. If you see social abuse occur and keep quiet about it, then you too are part of the problem
Financial abuseFinancial abuse occurs when your partner controls your finances and in most cases, the abuser keeps the victim completely financially dependent on them so that they are required to ask them for money when they need it.
If your partner is preventing you from practising your religion or shuts down your opinions about religion, that can be considered a form of spiritual abuse. If your partner is causing you to doubt your spirituality that too is a form of spiritual abuse. You have the right to practise any religion you chose and no one should tell you otherwise.
Abusers are often masterminds in creating a false sense of reality for the people they abuse. They exercise control in various ways and pray on the fear of the victim. This leads to thinking that the abuse is justified and that it is ‘my fault’. Before you fall prey to abuse, look at some of the character traits of an abuser.
Abusers are master manipulators, therefore, they have no difficulty in making the victim believe that what’s going on is either their fault or not as serious as it seems, using phrases such as ‘you’re overreacting’ As a result, it’s easy to underestimate the amount of danger you are in. Deciding to leave a situation where you feel unsafe may be hard and scary. It takes heaps of courage but it is of utmost importance that you speak out and if possible, talk to someone you trust, such as a friend, counsellor or youth worker. Consider staying with family or a friend that you can trust, while you work on what to do next. Most victim’s fear that if they go the police that the abuse will be much worse for them, however not speaking out is where the real damage is caused. Call the helpline for Women and Children abuse immediately if you are a victim or if you are aware of the abuse that’s taking place somewhere else.
If someone is hurting you, or threatening to hurt you, it can be hard to maintain your self-confidence or feelings of self-worth. You might even want to blame yourself. Remember that it’s never okay for someone to hurt you or threaten to hurt you. The best thing you can do in this situation is to get some support to help you plan a path to safety. Reconnecting with friends or family can remind you of who you are and how much other people love and care for you.
ZwavelStream clinic offers its support to those affected by gender-based violence. Here you will be met by a warm team of dedicated professional staff that has your best interests at heart. There’s no shame in seeking treatment. It’s an act of great courage to take that first step and reach out. At ZwavelStream Clinic we provide a safe space for those looking for just this kind of support and guidance. So if you recognize yourself or someone you love may need help, please contact us.